One year of blogging about my journey! Happy faces and thumbs up, for sure!
Haha umm, I meant to write and post this entry on the actual anniversary, but I was preoccupied on a “girls getaway” trip to New Braunfels! I guess I could have written it before hand and left it as a draft, then just set it to publish on June 29, but that’s alright! I’m here now, and that’s what matters. I wrote my first post on June 29, 2012. :) To think that I didn’t even want to talk about this whole brain injury/brain aneurysm/stroke thing and now I’ve been writing for a little over a year, is funny to me.
I’m glad I started writing when I did, and I’m also glad that I didn’t write when I first came home last year. Those first 6 months were the most… Dark times. I just felt so confused, so conflicted, and mostly so scared. Every ache and pain sent me into a panic, every sharp “zing” through my scalp had me convinced that I was experiencing something wrong with the clipping, and emotionally, I was a total mess. I was dealing with so much all at once, none of which I had been prepared to deal with in the slightest. I’ve done a lot of reading and research, and many people have said that the general anesthesia and drugs coming out of your system can cause you to be really emotional. But just for a recap, I had emergency brain surgery (no idea I even had an aneurysm until mine ruptured), the parts of my brain (most) affected control emotions, memory, and personality, and I was thrown into a sea of “what is this?” with no idea how to swim. So what do you do? You learn to tread water. I’ve been treading water for nearly 17 months, now. July 4 will be 17 months since “the night I died,” and July 6 will be 17 months since my life was saved thanks to an incredible neurosurgeon and medical staff that God used to help intervene. I still firmly believe, though, that if He (God) didn’t want me here, I would not be alive (and doing as well as I am) today. You can think what you’d like about that, but it won’t change how I feel.
Anyway, I’m just saying hey! I may decide to blog about my weekend getaway this past weekend, but I haven’t made up my mind yet. I just wanted to say something about having passed a year in blogging. Writing is cathartic to me, so I don’t think I’ll stop writing anytime soon. Just knowing that I can touch thousands of lives with one blog really propels me to keep sharing my heart, journey, understanding, faith, and struggles. Seriously, y’all? That blog has (at the time of me publishing this entry) 1,170 views. My blog in totality (from June 29, 2012 to currently) has 4,121 views! You know what that means to me? It means that people are hungry for more knowledge, there are people out there struggling to find the words to explain to others, there are people who are willing to learn about “us” (with traumatic and/or acquired brain injuries), and that I have the ability to put it into words for “us” and them. That’s a huge blessing, and I can’t thank y’all enough for being so awesome as to take the time to read it and share it with others! It also shows me how God is faithful to use what gifts you have, if you’re faithful to use what gifts you have. When I wrote that entry, I was in a moment of late night clarity and decided to just “speak up” for myself and two other survivor friends. I never intended for it to reach as far as it has, and it still continues to spread today. That’s pretty awesome, if you ask me! :)
Alright, that’s about all I’ve got for now. It feels incredible outside, so I think I might go for a long walk and just get some fresh air. Maybe I’ll even run some if I feel okay! Take it easy, everyone. Keep the faith, keep the fight! :)
Faith, by fire. 