There are songs that you love, just because they’re good songs. Then there are songs you love because you can relate to the lyrics and emotions. Ever since my brain lost its mind (haha), I have found new meaning in some of my favorite songs. I can easily find myself tearing up or tears falling as I listen to the words and truly let the emotions sink in. I am so grateful that I didn’t lose any hearing, or ability to comprehend language. That would really be catastrophic to me. Music helps me heal, helps me understand, helps me relax, helps me breathe, helps me feel, helps me know that at some point in time, someone, somewhere once felt as I feel. Anyway, here are a few of those songs. :)
Standout lyrics: Basically the entire first verse haha… “If you could soldier on, headstrong and through the storm, I’ll be here waiting on the other side. Don’t look back, the road is long. The first days of the war are gone. Take back your former throne, and turn the tide.” “I know pain is just a place where the will has been broken.”
Basically, don’t give up. Keep moving forward, and keep fighting. “I’ll be here waiting on the other side” reminds me of me not feeling like myself, fighting through all of this mess, but finding out that “on the other side,” I’m still me. That positive, optimistic, courageous girl is still in there. Don’t focus on the past, but instead, “take back your former throne and turn the tide.” Take your life back, and blaze on ahead. Don’t let this reduce you or break your spirit. You keep fighting, and you never stop. :)
Standout lyrics: “We all have a weakness, some of ours are easy to identify.” “If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better parts of me.” “So when sickness turns my ego up, I know you’ll act as a clever medicine.”
I could probably stop right there. That first line is so… Poignant and so relevant to brain injury. You can’t see the injury, but it’s there and it has an affect on everything we do. Brains don’t heal like bones. Once it’s injured, you just have to figure out how to live with it. It hurts. Some days you feel normal again, but most days you don’t. You just kind of deal with it. This song also makes me feel how important it is to have someone there for you. Someone with whom you can be your most raw, primal, true self. Someone whose love for you overshadows any outrageous emotions/behavior you might exhibit throughout this wilderness that is brain injury. (Preferably) Someone who knew you before you got sick, so that they can remind you of who you are. That your brain injury does not define you, even if it changed you. “You” are still in there, somewhere. They aren’t afraid to go into the depths to love you and show you who you are.
Standout lyrics: “This is my prayer in the fire. In weakness, or trial, or pain. There is a faith proved of more worth than gold, so refine me Lord, through the flame. I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare, ‘God is my victory, and He is here.'” “This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I’ll stand. I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare, ‘God is my victory, and He is here.'” “All of my life, in every season. You are still God. I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship!”
This. Song. I love it so much! I could not have gotten through what I’ve been through without God (or the people He’s placed in my life) and my faith is very important to me. However, I will not lie and say I don’t struggle. Why? Because I keep questioning why a “good God” would allow all of these painful experiences to happen to me. Wasn’t being born so premature and literally fighting for my life since the second I was born enough? Weren’t all of the painful experiences enough? Don’t You care about me, God? Don’t You see I’m tired of the struggle, I’m tired of the fight? Don’t You know my heart? Don’t You know I’m over this now? Why can’t You ever just tell me what lessons You want me to learn instead of making me go through all of this mess? All questions I’ve honestly asked Him, then felt bad about asking Him. He gave me life, and He continues to let me live. Am I even “allowed” to ask Him questions? Am I even “allowed” to be mad? Then I realize, I am just a vessel. Perhaps none of this has anything to do with me, but through my struggles, I am able to truly reach others. Through my struggles, others are able to identify and feel safe. I have God on my side, what reasons do I have to complain? This song is just a reality check for me. It reminds me to keep trusting Him, even when I don’t understand (which is huge for me, I’m extremely inquisitive and have to have a plan) what is going on in my life. I know He has never forsaken me, not one time even when I’ve felt like I’m an island, lost in the wilderness with no idea how to get out… He is still with me. It makes me still give Him thanks and praise for all that He is doing in my life. I know the war isn’t over, but I know that I will continue to fight as long as I have a pulse and air in my lungs. I know that in the end, I will prevail and I know that God is already there. It’s like my grandma tells me “you grow through what you go through.” :) When I listen to this song, I feel empowered, I feel like I have no choice but to fight, I feel like I have no choice but to say “thank You,” and give Him praise through these struggles. This song reaches my heart and says “onward we go.”
That’s all I’ve got for now, I have been thinking about writing and posting this, but haven’t gotten around to it until now. Hope that y’all are all doing well, wherever you are. Just remember to keep the faith, keep the fight! :)
Faith, by fire. 