Gratitude.

Dear dad and mom,

Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart (from the four of us), thank you so much for raising us.  You didn’t just let us grow up, you raised us.  You invested into us, loved us, corrected us, and redirected us.  You allowed us each the space to be exactly who we are, but also set a foundation of core values that have sustained us and are more apparent to me now that I’m older and grasping just how different people are.

I have been thinking a lot these past few weeks on society, lack of morality and values, and the differences between people who grow up and people who are raised.  Truthfully, the general public has made me question a lot and I made the connection that it all starts at home.  I have said it in my mind so many times, but the dissolution of family is an atrocity.  I believe that wholeheartedly.  Family can look differently, but it’s very important to have a parent (or parents) who really do nourish their child(ren).  Now more than ever in a society that seems to have its moral fibers barely stitched together by a thread, it is vital to make sure you’re parenting well.

It’s one thing to tell a person what to do, but an entirely different thing to shape them into who they are.  Of course it’s up to the person to do what he/she wants to do, but when you build them into someone, they tend to carry that identity wherever they go.

 You both did your part in weaving our moral fibers and now we are so well stitched together that it carries over into every aspect of our lives.  Mom, you made sure that we were in church from the time we were very little and that opened our young eyes and hearts to the faith that has carried me several times.  Thank you!  Dad, you may not have taken us to church, but you have instilled plenty of wisdom through your one-liners that still echo in my head and I’m nearly 27! Haha.  I will never forget them!  Thank you!

“Stand for something, or fall for anything.”
“Don’t do wrong and expect things to work out right.”
“Make good choices.”
“Don’t start it, don’t take it.”
“Watch what’s going on around you.”
“Stand for something, even if you stand alone.”

You are both of different temperaments, but you also have both somehow passed on the “feeler” gene.  I don’t even know how to put it into words, but it’s that gut feeling that is so strong in all four of us.  Highly intuitive, I guess. We “just know.”  We are all four different personalities and beings as your children, but we all “just know,” and it’s usually accurate.  It’s so weird, but I love it and I love knowing that I can go to my parents and siblings with something or someone and they too can be honest with their thoughts/feelings on a situation so that I know it’s not just me jumping to a premature conclusion.  This feeling has saved me from several situations that could have gone terribly wrong and every time I have doubted it, I have paid for it.  I have learned now to just trust the feeling in my spirit because it’s there for a reason.

I know that it wasn’t always easy to raise two boys and two girls, I know I had plenty of medical issues as a child (and even as I’ve grown up) that would stress y’all out, I know we weren’t always the most well-behaved or that we didn’t always give you the respect you deserve, but I definitely know that I am so grateful for your parenting skills.  So grateful, so blessed to have parents who really do care, really do invest, and still look out for our well-being and best interests although we’re all young adults now.  I’m by no means saying we are perfect people, because we are all flawed, but you each gave us a pretty good start on how to live a good life just by being a good person overall.

Thank you for allowing each of us to develop our individual selves but also making sure we stay true to who we are, who we were raised to be, who we are called to be, and who we can become.  I have watched too many people try to be too many people (because they don’t know who they are) and they lose grasp and sight of who they truly are.  That’s a surefire way to end up compromising yourself for a pseudo existence.  I don’t want that, and I’m glad you never encouraged that.  We were raised in a house that was very persistent on knowing who you are and not apologizing for being true to ourselves.  That matters.  A lot.  You taught us to love well and accept all people, but not to depend on them for validation or definition of self.  Who I am is not dependent on who’s around me, where I am, but what’s within me. Thank you!!!  Emotional security is more important now than ever as I’m still recovering, still fighting my neurological battle, still learning this “new normal.”  As a young woman in this world and time where everything seems to be constantly morphing, it means everything to me to have a core that is well-developed so that even though everything I know, thought I knew, lost, gained, I am secure enough to know who I am and not change.  I have you both to thank for that!

We did not have a perfect childhood or perfect family, but we do have love, authenticity, honesty, faith, laughter, a solid foundation, and that is something that I wish to pass on to my own family, should I be blessed with my own someday. Our home was filled with an interesting blend and balance of honesty and sensitivity.  We may not have always seemed like we were listening, but we were absorbing everything and much of it has influenced who I am today.

Thank you for not giving us everything we wanted, but much of it.  Thank you for giving us the things that we need, and something that actually lasts an entire lifetime, by giving us a good foundation.  Thank you for both being in our lives, day in and day out, in the same household.  You taught us to be kind but be honest, use manners, treat people the way you want to be treated, work hard but know when to rest, gain knowledge, be sensitive but strong, love well.  We learned by watching you, thank you for the examples.

Thank you so much, dad and mom.  You are both awesome people and I love you both so much!!!  

When you enter this world, you are given a name, and when you leave this world, you take your name with you.  I hope we all carry our names as well as you have trained us to.  I love you, thank you.

-Robin