To The Happy Couple!

If y’all are wondering where I’ve been, I’ll tell you that I have been extremely busy with one of my best friend’s weddings. :)  She and her husband had their wedding August 17, and I was the maid of honor.  :)  I just wanted to write a little something for the two of them, so here we go.

August 17 marked exactly 18 months since the day I came home from the hospital, last year and it’s also when my new life began all on my own, outside of the confines of hospital walls with skilled neurosurgeons, nurses, therapists and staff there to keep me safe.  This girl literally held my hand, and she was the first person to speak up to a neurosurgeon in Dallas about the headache I had while they were trying to determine the cause of my brain bleed.  She told him “she’s had a headache for 3 days” and that’s when he said “oh, that changes everything.” The necessary steps were taken, next, to find the aneurysm that was slowly (but rapidly) taking my life away from me.

I know that Rachel and I have been best friends for the past 13-14 years,  but you don’t ever think of your best friend having to say or do something that could literally save your life.  You don’t look at your best friend and think “gee, someday he/she may be holding my hand while I’m in a medically induced coma because my brain is bleeding, and swelling, and I’m slowly dying.”  You don’t think that, but that’s what happened.

Aww! This is Rachel holding and kissing my hand before anyone really understood what exactly was going to happen. She’s been such a faithful and good friend throughout all of this! She was even being respectful that I may not want pictures of my face shown, so she posted one that shows love but isn’t too telling, either!

Rachel,

Thank you so much for dropping everything to be at my side on that cold February night.  I have zero recollection of that event (or any events for a good 9 days), but I have photographic proof that you were right there by my side.  Thank you for your prayers, your friendship, and being the first person to visit me when I came home on February 17, 2012. :)  I love you!  I know I wasn’t feeling awesome, I didn’t even really seem like “me,” but you stuck by me through all of that, and I appreciate it.  Thanks for all of the good times, the laughter, and as things slowly got “back to normal,” we just kind of picked up where we left off.

I’ll miss times like these:

Hahaha dancing in your old apartment. I believe we were listening to “Whip My Hair” :)

The “must have” Sunday nap after church!!  Also, this was one of our first “normal” days after I came home last year. :)

Hahahahahaha. There probably are no words to describe what was really happening here. Typical of us to be cracking up at something, and it was probably really dumb. Something only we would find hilarious. :) :)

Girls day out!!! :) Ya know, just showing our rockstar sides in mama’s bathroom!  I think this was in 2008!

Waaaay back in your UTD days! Lunch with you, Laura, and mama!

NeedToBreathe with you and mama in Dallas!  My first live concert (and I got to see Seth Bolt hahaha) since this “new life” began. :)  I loved all of it!

Thanksgiving 2011 with you, Amanda and family. Just mere months before everything changed.  P.S., You and I are both really short. Hahaha.

Thanksgiving 2012 with you, Marcus, Amanda and family/friends!

The night that you, Ali and I went to dinner and a movie. I love girls nights with y’all. :)

Just one of those random shots we always captured. Crazy hair and lovin’ it!

Panama Cityyy!!! Spring break 2011. Best. Trip. Ever! Hahaha I loved it, and I loved that you, Amanda and I went and didn’t even get reckless, but we had a great time anyway!

Spring break 2011! Just getting ready in the hotel room, hanging out and having fun :)

Sarah got married 23 months (exactly) before you, and you two have been my closest friends since I was 12. I love you both, dearly, and I’m glad that we got to have this picture during Spring break!

Before Caleb made his way into the Army. :)

I think this was the first day of 2011, I know it was New Year’s day and at first I told you I didn’t like this picture because it wasn’t cute. Hahaha then I looked again and decided otherwise. :)

So many memories, and these are a very small portion of the pictures we have taken over the years.  That’s okay, though, can’t put them all on here.  That would probably take a year or so.  Moving onward… While I will always miss and cherish those times,

I am glad I got to be a part of times like these:

One of my favorite pictures of you and Marcus (so far) and one of the first times I actually “saw” the love you two share. :) I love it!

Hahahaha. Watching you two together is such an experience, even when Marcus puts you up on the refrigerator for a “time out.” Keep that playful love alive throughout the years, and always remember to laugh!

Love this one!! The day we went to pick Caleb up after his deployment. You two are so silly, it’s amusing to watch. :)

Your first bridal shower. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and I am so glad I got to be there, by your side, doing my MOH duties. I love you girls!!

I was in charge of the food and drinks for the lingerie shower/bachelorette party. I think it turned out pretty well!  We just kind of did an appetizers thing, because we all went out to dinner (mmm, steak) and didn’t want to eat too much beforehand.  Vegetables and ranch dip, fruit and fruit dip that I made, “better than sex” cupcakes, and a sparkling pink punch made of frozen lemonade, sparkling white grape juice, and club soda!

Just one of my contributions to Rachel’s lingerie shower/bachelorette party.
Better than sex cupcakes that took for-ev-er to make, but they were well worth it!!  They are very rich and you should probably only eat one, but I’m pretty sure we all had two or three hahah.

^This is the recipe for those devilish delicious cupcakes: http://centercutcook.com/better-than-sex-cupcakes/
You’re welcome, and I’m sorry in advance for any weight you may gain. :)  Also, thank you and shout out to my ultra talented sister, Kayla, for making the homemade icing from scratch.  That made the cupcakes even better!

Oh, Bella dog! If I am at that house, this girl is somewhere near me. I was just trying to enjoy my snacks and she refused to leave me. Haha!

Headed out to dinner on the night of the shower/party :)

All of that was fun (and delicious), but it doesn’t compare to being able to stand next to your best friend on her wedding day, when, had anything gone differently 18 months and 12 days earlier, you may not have been present at all.

I was thrilled to be present for memories like these:

The night of the rehearsal, after the dinner. The bridal party all met up at a hotel for some friendly competition (Battle of the Sexes board game) and we had to pose for a silly picture before saying goodnight. :) I love it!

But nothing compares to being alive to be a part of memories like these:

The colors were Tiffany Blue and a true red. They were beautiful. :) I chose a one shouldered dress and kept my jewelry simple because of the bow on the shoulder. :)  Just hanging out in the bridal room before the ceremony began!

The three of us bridesmaids!! We all chose different dresses, but kept the same color. I actually love how it all came together. We all wore red shoes, though. :) Whitney is in the center, and Amanda is on the right!

Me and Amanda! :)

The groom’s sister, Shatera, is the one who took this shot. I love it! Mr. and Mrs. Anderson as they exited the church building after the ceremony :) I think this is my favorite picture from a guest’s point of view, so far!

I believe Laura captured this shot. The bride and groom had their first dance. So sweet :)

After being serenaded by Ben (the brother of the bride), I can honestly say I will never hear this song the same, ever again hahaha.

I really, really, really wish the videographer could have recorded my reaction.  Amanda, Whitney and I were standing on the side of the dance floor cracking up at Ben’s serenade.  It was priceless.

Now, to get serious, I have a few things to “say” to you, Rachel and Marcus.  I could have said all of this during my toast at the reception, but y’all should know that I’m really not going to stand up in front of all of those people and say this much.  Haha it’s easier through writing. :)

First of all, always remember to love one another from a standpoint of selflessness, because that’s what love really is.  Love is not an emotion, it’s a choice, and it’s a choice that each of you will have to make everyday, whether you “feel like it” or not.  I love you both.  Remember this, and practice it daily in your interactions with each other:

A cup I saw in a coffee shop the morning after the wedding when I was running some errands with the bride’s mama!  God loves us graciously, and if we are to love as He loves, we are to love one another using grace, as well.  Practice it everyday!

Marcus, if you really ever have to apologize to her, you could always just buy her one of these!

The Rolex the mother of the bride was wearing on the wedding day!

Hahahaha, I’m kidding.

Seriously, though, just like I said in my toast, “you passed the test.”  I have liked you since the afternoon we sat down together in Starbucks to have the “what are your intentions” talk.  I liked your gentleness, but bold sense of honesty.  You have a calm presence, but one that also means business.  I like that about you.  I like that you see beneath the surface, and that you have a strong spirit.  I love that you are both silly, but deeply loving and caring.  I think that you make a great match for my best friend, and I can’t wait to watch your love with her progress over the years.

Thank you for including me in the fun of engagement planning, ring shopping, and making me keep that secret from her.  I loved it!!  Thank you for the times you’ve reached out to me, offered an encouraging word, and have just been real with me.  I appreciate that more than I can even write or say.  But most of all, Marcus,  Thank you for being a real man in today’s world of imitations and lowered standards.  It shows, you know.

To  you both, Apologizing in sincerity, though is something that will serve you two well.  Say it with words, show it through action and do the work it takes to make your marriage last.  I believe you both want to have that “happily ever after,” but it takes effort.  Give it all you’ve got.  Love each other well, and respect each other as well.  :)

Also, do your marriage with a party of three, in the shape of a triangle.  God is at the top, and you two are at the bottom corners.  The closer you two get to Him, individually, the closer the two of you become to one another.  Remember that the purpose of marriage is to glorify God and is to be a picture of how Christ loves the Church.  :)  Show each other love and respect, and safeguard your marriage by working through your issues together. Remember that it’s okay to seek help when/if you need an objective opinion, and always pray through everything.

I love you both, I’m glad that I was able to take part in your special day, and I wish you (and pray for) both many years of happiness and fun, even through the difficulties.  Keep your eyes on Him.  I know we are separated by hours and miles, but we can visit one another and still maintain a solid friendship.  That’s what I’m here for, ya know! :)  I know that although I could choose to see it as I’m “losing” Rachel, I am actually gaining an incredible friend and brother in Marcus.  :)

I wanted to wait to post this until after y’all came back from your honeymoon, and I hope Costa Rica was full of rest and adventure.  I know we were all resting most of this week.  Weddings take a lot out of you, but it was well worth it!  Once again, I love you both!!!

-Robin
(Robinella or MoRo) :)

February 5, 2012.

Here’s the story continued by Kayla:

“Mom, Rachel and I arrived safely.  When we found the hospital, we headed straight up to room 304 where you were.  As soon as we walked in, one of the doctors approached us asking if we were family for Robin.  He told us what was going on with you, and said that he thought the CT was showing an aneurysm.  That they were going to go in and do an angiogram which is where they go in with a catheter (in your case, the femoral artery) they inject a dye into your blood vessels to make the area show clearly on the scans.  They confirmed that it was in fact an aneurysm.  They took you to do this around 7AM.

*I don’t know how I forgot this, but while we were driving down there, they went ahead and put a tube into your skull to relieve pressure, and drain some of the blood causing the headaches.  They started you on potassium, Propofol, and normal saline.*

You got out of getting the angio done around 9:45AM.  They told us to just let you rest so that you would be fully rested for surgery the next morning.  You had visitors today: Rachel, Jill, Rachel’s dad, stepmom, and sister.  Megan and Misty.  Leah and a friend of hers.  Lindsey Barnes’ mom, Brenda.  Later on in the night, Debbie from work came.  Alex Coleman, too.  I’m pretty sure that was everyone on Sunday.

You had countless prayers.  God and His angels were watching over you.  People from all over Texas and many other states were praying for a speedy, safe recovery.

You began to open your eyes for a minute at a time, and you were responding well to all of us.  Grabbing our hands, moving your legs and feet.  We were so proud of you!  I left around 5PM to go over to Megan’s to shower.  Dad showed up around 2PM, he took the week off of work to be here with me and mom.  I got back to the hospital around midnight, and Debbie had just driven in to be with all of us.”

As for my part of this story…

Haha I don’t have a part!  I have no memory!  But I’ve been told that while I was in the ER the night before, they thought I had the flu and it was causing such bad headaches/vomiting.  But my mom quickly put an end to that as she told them “Robin hasn’t been sick in  years!”  Which is true.  I haven’t been seriously ill (until this) in so long, and I’ve never been this ill aside from my premature birth.  This was an entirely different level of illness.  I had been doing so well, in fact, that I hadn’t been to my primary care doctor since my initial “new patient” visit sometime in 2009.  Seriously, never very ill. I don’t know when Rachel stepped in, but at some point in time she spoke up and told them “Well Robin’s had a bad headache since Wednesday.”  Which, given all of the other symptoms, it tipped the doctor off and that’s when they started to investigate neurological conditions further.  I’ve been told the doctor told her “Oh, that changes everything.”  Well, praise God for my best friend being there and speaking up when I was unable to do so for myself!  I love you for that, Rachel!!!  I’m just glad I told her about that headache, and had complained that it “hurts to laugh” Wednesday night as she and Amanda were making me laugh about some crazy story on our way to FCA at MSU.  I skipped out on FCA that night, told Rachel to take me back to her house so I could go home because I just didn’t “feel well at all.”  Little did I know how unwell I really was!

I wanted to add that the “brain drain” as we called it is medically known as a ventriculostomy.  It is a tube they insert into your skull, into a ventricle of the brain to relieve pressure from blood/cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) build up.  They drill a hole into your skull and then place the tube.  It drains out at the bedside.  This is done bedside, too which is surprising to me.  Rachel told me that she could see the curtain open to my room and she tried to go in, but a nurse stopped her and told her she couldn’t go in because it was a “sterile field” while they were placing the tube the first time.  If you’re interested in reading more about this procedure (I did, and I think it’s kind of cool, actually haha) here’s a link to a blog with more information: http://www.head-nurse.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting.html  I like the way she wrote about it, made it humorous, when it really isn’t, at all… And I got a better idea about some of the first holes into my skull.  I had two ventriculostomy procedures.  This was the first one, and then they moved it to the left side of my head sometime after surgery… But more on that in the next entries!

I’m just very grateful for the people who have been with me, and continue to be with me as I slowly put the pieces of my life back together.  God has truly blessed me! :)

P.S.,  I still think it’s nuts that they had me on the same drug (Propofol) that killed Michael Jackson!  Of course, it’s administered by trained professionals and they wouldn’t let me overdose on it, but it’s just the principle of it.  Haha no wonder I don’t have a memory!!