It’s no flu year, as I had leading into 2014, but I have been in hiding for days now because I’m sick.
It all began early Friday morning when I woke up with a tickle in my throat and the globus sensation (feeling that there’s a lump in the throat) causing me to clear my throat. I didn’t think much of it because I already had my flu shot in October, I hadn’t been feeling rundown or ill at all, so I just shrugged it off. As I eased into my day, I noticed some tightness in my chest and wheezing. I am an asthmatic, but it’s improved much over the years that I don’t really get too concerned about it unless I feel something is settling into my lungs. I thought about how much my siblings have been coughing and feeling ill, but if they had already been sick for over a week, and I still hadn’t caught it, I was good to go, right? Wrong! By Saturday morning I was coughing non stop with a productive cough, getting body aches, terrible headache and feeling exhausted in spite of the fact I hadn’t left bed much. I continued to feel the tightness in my chest, so I did some home remedies to try and ease whatever it could be and went to bed with plans of going to church on Sunday. That didn’t happen though. I woke up late, felt terrible, and decided I need to kick this ASAP so I took myself to the doctor. I went to the clinic where I was diagnosed with a sinus infection and given a prescription for antibiotics and a nasal spray. I took it upon myself to buy a probiotic and yogurt to eat just to help restore any good bacteria that the antibiotic will kill off. I also bought several liters of water, tissues with lotion, and soup because everyone knows soup is a cure-all when you’re under the weather! I already had honey at home, so I’ve been drinking big cups of hot tea with honey to help ease the pain.
Anyway, a friend and I were conversing this morning, when I had asked him about his birthday yesterday and checked on his knee because I know it’s been giving him trouble the past few weeks. Told him to just take it easy as he works his way back into the gym for leg day tomorrow. We continued to discuss workouts, and I told him how much I’ve been coughing and how sore it’s made my abdominal muscles. “The past 3 days and now heading into 4 have been ‘ab day’ for me haha. Cough, cough, cough! I coughed so much last night too, my abdominals HURT!'” He replied, “You must have a six pack then. Lol jk!” I had to laugh, though, because I immediately replied “Haha I probably do have a six pack! Sick pack!” Hahaha. Seriously, my abdominal muscles hurt so badly from the incessant coughing that I feel like I’ve been doing core workouts for days! Have to find some humor in it. It makes things easier to deal with. :)
I haven’t done much of anything this Christmas/Winter break and have spent many days battling barometric pressure induced migraines, but I adopted a mantra for the year anyway, and it’s this:
So, to do something I actually want to do before I begin a new semester, I had mapped out a plan to take a trip to Houston to visit my best friend and her little family. I had wanted to leave this Thursday, the 8th, but thanks to this sinus infection, my plans are a bit stalled at the moment. She had her and her husband’s first child on December 20, and I haven’t been able to meet my nephew (by heart, not blood) yet, so I need to be a good “aunt Ro” and go. However, I refuse to infect a newborn (or his family) with whatever I have going on with me, so I’m erring on the side of caution and waiting to see how I feel by the end of the week before I make a definitive decision. I want to see my best friend and get my hands on my sweet nephew so badly, but I want them healthy more than I “need” my plans to go my way. We shall see, cards aren’t completely off the table, but I’m thinking of what’s in everyone’s best interest. I’ve been resting a lot, staying hydrated, and making sure I’m properly medicating myself. Using non medicinal treatments (hot compresses for my ears and body aches, ice packs for the headaches, hot showers to help clear sinuses, spicy and hot foods/drinks) where I can! Just gotta roll with the punches.
Aside from this, I’m tying up the final loose ends on my school to do list before the semester begins on January 20! Hoping to be totally done with that (and books purchased) by the end of the week so that if I do end up going to Houston, I’ll have nothing to do for a few days before school once I return home. I hate being rushed or feeling frantic, and since living this “new normal,” I need time more than anything to just relax and get my mind right. Since having acquired this brain injury, I have to be calm and focused so that I can think clearly about what’s ahead of me and what it means for an academic pursuit. Long gone are the days where I can just get up and go, not really thinking but just doing school (or anything, really) without forethought and rest to ease into the atmosphere. I don’t think most people understand that, but trust me, it’s best for me (and everyone) if I take that time off to just do nothing except be, because it’s preparing my mind and strengthening my resolve to accomplish what is ahead of me. Like a child clings to a comforting object, or an athlete in training for a game/race ahead of them, is my rest to me and my brain before I begin something new, especially when it requires vast mental energy. I get my “game face” on, get focused, in my zone, and just prepare myself to conquer. I find comfort in the quiet and stillness, and it really helps me to just be still. Give thanks to God for all that I have, let my spirit be refreshed, and positive self talk. “I can, I will.” “I have come too far to quit now.” “It will be challenging, but you only lose when you give up, so try.” “He left you here to do more than just exist.” Yes I have a brain injury and I’m different now, but it doesn’t define me. I don’t let it. I was Robin before, and I’m Robin now, just “an edition” as my brother said last night. He’s right. Same Robin, different edition because of an addition. Haha!! I just work with what I have and do what I can. Self awareness has been good to me, indeed! There are adjustments I have made. probably more to be made, and it’s been a remarkable nearly 3 years (in February) since I began this “new normal,” but I’d say I’ve handled it quite well given the circumstances.
Today is the best I’ve felt since I started feeling unwell on Friday, so I got up and got some work done from home! Bills are paid for the month as of today, and laundry is in the works. Even though I’m under the weather, I still handle my business. I’m proud of me for that and still taking matters into my own hands. I’m just grateful and blessed to be able to have the finances to do what I need to do, and most of what I want to do. That’s definitely a good start to the new year. Can’t complain about that! Just gonna focus on ridding myself of this illness, and hopefully making the trip I want to make. Then I’m gonna begin Spring 2015 semester ready to go! Let’s get it! :)
Hope that you’re all feeling (and doing) well, wherever you are! Of course, as always, remember to keep the faith, keep the fight!
Faith, by fire. 
Good for you. Feel better soon.