I’m not an emotional eater. When I’m upset, my first instinct is to tune the world out, settle in with some good music, and just think or write about it. Sometimes I’ll go for a very long walk or jog, sometimes I’ll just vent to a friend. But most of the time, I just have to turn the music up. Writing helps me heal, keeping my body moving helps me heal, music helps me heal. I’m an introvert for sure, and the way I handle difficulties reminds me of that. I like people, but I like (and need) my quiet time more. :)
Tonight, though, I am emotionally eating. Allow me to explain, it isn’t what you think. When people think of emotional eaters, they usually think of someone eating an entire box of brownies, a dozen cookies, or a half gallon of ice cream. Maybe drinking a whole 12 pack of Dr Pepper (that’s the Texas way! Haha) Right? Not in my case.
I don’t know what happened, but I joke with my neurosurgeon that they “put something back together the wrong way!” My appetite completely changed after brain surgery. It’s really weird. I don’t like anything fried (very rarely eat fried anything anymore), if it’s really greasy I don’t want it, I don’t crave sweets (but I didn’t crave them often before, anyway), I don’t drink any kind of soda (just water with lime, please or maybe a ginger beer–it’s non alcoholic and I love the taste of ginger–shoutout to papa Whit for introducing me to this wonderful drink), and I try to stay away from anything caffeinated. Yes, that means sayonara to my beloved coffee most of the time (but sometimes I just need one cup) and I limit my green tea consumption.
Tonight, I am eating a huge salad with grilled lemon pepper chicken, shredded cheese, a squeeze of lime, pineapple that I cut up, and a drizzle of ranch dressing. No smothering in ranch, haha I actually like tasting the lettuce now. It just tastes so clean and healthy. I love it, and I really love eating healthy now. I always did like “healthy” food and “eating clean,” but I would really just eat whatever, whenever. Seriously, Whataburger is good and all, but honey butter chicken biscuits at 3 in the morning isn’t ideal for optimal health. Hahaha. :) Don’t get me wrong though… If I’m craving something, I’ll eat it because I know I hardly ever eat those foods anymore. I don’t believe in bad foods, just portion control and how often you choose to eat those foods.
It might be a mental thing, but I honestly just want to do whatever I am able to do to ensure that I am not endangering my health. I didn’t know I had a brain aneurysm until mine ruptured. I came out of that experience thinking “Well, I should control what I am able to control.” For me, that means feeding myself good, whole foods. That means staying away from most fried, overly processed, too sweet, too fattening food. That means drinking more water and less sweet tea (so sad for this native Texan), coffee, and no soda. Caffeine literally makes me feel like my head is floating away now. I guess it’s just the way it affects my brain differently now, I don’t know… But I feel separate from my body when I drink caffeine. It kind of freaks me out, because I always think I’m going to have a seizure or something. Haha, I’ll just steer clear, definitely not trying to ever have another seizure.
Anyway, I was just lounging around eating slowly and I felt like writing a little something. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, it’s tax free weekend here in Texas (no, I’m not joking), so I know the store will be pretty busy. I need rest.
Hope y’all are doing (and feeling) well, wherever you are. :) Keep the faith, keep the fight! Goodnight!
Faith, by fire. 