Hey, y’all! Okay, I’ve coined the term “brain buddies” to describe a group of people I’ve befriended over the common ground of brain surgery and the recovery that follows. No, our stories are not the same, but they share enough that I feel we are able to supportive of one another because we understand that the other “gets it.” It’s very important to feel you’re not alone in this. Seriously, very important. As much as your friends/family/co workers/bosses/significant others try to understand, they simply don’t. Not that they don’t want to, they just don’t. Because it hasn’t happened to them (and I’m okay if nothing like this ever happens to anyone else as long as I live) so they just can’t empathize even though they sympathize.
Anyways, I’ve had the privilege of bonding with many people all over Texas, the U.S., and the world because of my ruptured brain aneurysm. Before this, I had never heard of anyone having brain surgery, or a neurosurgeon except for one friend who had an AVM rupture when we were freshmen in high school. Ten years ago. Within the past 6 months, I’ve “met” quite a few people and I feel compelled to share with them my journey, in hopes I may be able to assist them in their own journey. This is a rough road, and it helps a lot to know you’re not alone. So I’m just going to write out some notes to those “brain buddies” of mine, because they’re on my mind, right now. :)
Maranda
Thank you. Seriously. Thank you so much for talking me through this recovery, especially in the beginning. I know that we haven’t talked in a while, but I also know that you’re here if I need you. I thank you so much for just listening to me, and sharing your own struggles from your AVM experience. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, and even more comforting to hear the story of someone I personally know. I appreciate all of your encouragement and advice. Thank you for teaching me how to breathe (seriously) and suggesting that I talk with a therapist if I think it would help. Therapy has been great for me, and I find myself breathing slowly thinking of what you taught me. I’m also grateful for the hope you remind me of. Ten years later, and you’ve managed to live just as normal of a life than anyone. That gives me hope that I too will go onto live a pretty normal life, no matter how abnormal I feel. I love you so much, and I’m blessed to call you a friend even if it has been an entirely long time since we’ve even seen each other. I’m thankful you beat those 50/50 odds against you, girl. I think God knew I would need you one day. :) You’re awesome, I’m proud of who you are, and proud to call you friend. <3
T
Hey, girl! Wow… Our story is really so crazy. Let me say that I cannot wait to officially meet you, first of all! Second of all, I’m so thankful that you found this blog and that we’ve since communicated in other ways, too! Who knew that we’d even think of one another, much less connect and actually become friends? We were side by side (I was in 304 so she was either 303 or 305) in ICU, both with the same emergency, and had our surgeries on the same day, by the same neurosurgeon. What? Yes, people, this is real. I’m still mad at you for pushing my surgery back!! Hahah. JK. But I do find it humorous to know why it got pushed back! Of course it wasn’t funny at all, but I’m glad that we are able to talk about it and laugh. I’m thankful that you knew what was going on with you, and that you were able to get yourself the help you desperately needed. I still chuckle that you told the 911 operator you were “having a subarachnoid hemorrhage.” Not because it’s funny, but because your brain is bleeding yet you’re still coherent and able enough to tell her exactly what is going on with you. Your nursing definitely probably saved your own life, and I’m thankful for that for you!! God is so good! I thought of you often after I came home because I wanted to know what happened to “that girl my family talked about all the time.” Now I know! I’m glad that you’re recovering well, and I pray for your eyesight. We are truly blessed, though that our deficits are probably the least they could’ve been. I’m thankful that you were able to go to the therapies to help you start your recovery off right. I think about you everyday, and I pray for you often. My friend, we are only about 3 hours apart, so you know we will be seeing each other!! You’ve got my number, so just let me know when you’re ready. :) Keep on pushing forward, and know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I understand and I’m here for you!! “That you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” Romans 1:12 :)
MK
Hey, sweetheart! You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, either. However, your friend Lindsey Long posted a tweet about you on Twitter, and I saw it through a retweet of a follower of mine. For some reason, I felt the need to know more about you, and I told your friend that I had just had brain surgery in February, and that I’m in the recovery phase. I told her that our God is able, and that I would be praying for you. She and I tweeted back and forth to one another, and she eventually added me on Facebook to send me a request to the group your parents (I’m guessing) set up for you! I have read your updates everyday. I’ve found myself laughing, crying, and rejoicing over the progress you are making. Our God is so good!! I have been deep in prayer for you, that the same blessings I’ve experienced may be granted to you, too. I just know our God is an able God and He will provide. I understand that what you’re going through is difficult, unexpected, and painful. I understand that you will spend some days crying, feeling hurt, and wishing it would just stop hurting so bad. I want to let you know that things like that will get better as time passes on. You will have to be patient with yourself, and those around you, but it will get better. Your story has touched me so much, and I’m proud to know how great your faith is! You’re obviously a good girl, and you’ve got so many people who love you and support you. Lindsey told me last week that they were wearing yellow for you. Yellow is my favorite color, too :) You may have heard it before, but in case you haven’t… Whenever you’re feeling okay, listen to “The Desert Song” by Hillsong. “All of my life, in every season, You are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship” has been such an uplifting reminder for me. Music is good for you. Take it easy, girl, I’m watching your progress and praying for you!!! :) Cheering you on from Texas!
Matthew
Once again, I don’t know you, but I know of you. Hannah is a mutual friend of ours, and on June 24, she wrote me a message on Facebook informing me of your condition and asked that I pray for you. I was immediately humbled by your story and her requests. I cried, like I often do these days haha. But I was just feeling hurt that someone else so young would have to undergo something so traumatic, too. It’s awful and I wish it didn’t exist. I wish we could just be carefree and live our lives like the rest of our peers. But we can’t. All we can do, since we can’t change the situation at hand is change our attitude towards the situation at hand. Easier said than done, I know… But it is possible. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens us. I honestly cannot imagine the pain that you’re experiencing. All I know is the pain that I felt, and that was awful. But please know that I think of you often and that I pray for you. I pray for your restoration, and for your strength throughout this trying time in your life. I may not understand the malignancy aspect of your condition, but I do understand the trauma of brain surgery and the recovery that follows it. For those reasons alone, I want you to know that I am here if you ever want or need someone to talk to. You have good friends in Hannah and Brad, they genuinely care about you and want the best for you. That’s pretty awesome for me to know, because I know how difficult the recovery is, and how you can’t have enough support. Keep the faith, keep the fight, and keep pressing on!! Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers, and that I am here if you ever want or need to talk. I’m blessed to know about your condition, so that I can pray with the same faith others used when they prayed for me. Blessed to be a blessing! Hang in there! :)
Quincy
Hey, you! Yet another Twitter friend! :) I think it’s really cool how we “met” each other through a testimony tweet! I’m glad to let you know that you’re not alone in your recovery, and I’m glad to know that there is hope and that recovery will continue. I just want to say thank you for the suggestions you give to me, and the advice that you offer. Once again, it’s good to know you’re not alone and I appreciate hearing from someone else who is ahead of me in the game because I know that they may have experienced things I will experience. Your story is touching and I’m glad to know of it. I know there are more of us out there, maybe they will see us and come forward, too! That’d be awesome. :) You too, are in my thoughts and prayers. :) No doubt. I’m glad that we can look at our recovery from a spiritual standpoint and trust in God to continue to heal us. He is a huge part of my recovery, and I can tell that He is a part of yours, too! That’s the way it should be. Or it certainly makes it easier when we focus on Him to sustain us throughout this difficult brain injury/recovery. I’m glad that you can relate to how my memory loss frustrates me and bothers me that I can’t remember, that you are always encouraging me to rest or sleep, and make sure that I eat (haha like so many people do–my appetite is still slack) to keep the headaches at bay. I’m glad that one silly little tweet led us to one another and that we can encourage each other. You’re pretty cool, and I’m proud of you. :) Thank you for befriending me, and I pray for your continued recovery, even though you’re quite a ways out. I don’t believe the doctor’s when they say things like “where he/she is in a year is where he/she will be for life.” Know why I don’t believe it? Because our God restores and gives us life abundantly. :) That’s my prayer for you! That you learn to compensate for the areas affected by your aneurysm rupture, and stay in good spirits throughout it all. You’re an inspiration to me, and I thank you for it!
And now for a few very fitting Bible verses for my “brain buddies” that I feel relate to us, and have kept me sane when I feel so alone in this recovery, sometimes… They’ve comforted me, given me peace, and a sense of hope when it has seemed so dark and alone. I hope that they speak to your heart, too!!
James 1:2-4
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
1 Peter 5:8-11
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
Isaiah 40:28-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator and ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
My brain buddies, y’all have my love, support, encouragement, and prayer! Keep the faith, keep the fight! I know it may seem dark, but take it from me (someone who was in a very dark place just 5 months ago) that it will get brighter and the light will quit flickering. Just allow yourself to go through the process and emotions of recovery. You are stronger than you think, and with God on your side, you will get through! I’m always here if any of you ever want or need to talk. :) Take care!
With love,
Robin
Faith, by fire. 